Attitude of Gratitude · Blissful Hearts · Project: Full Life · Random & Personal

#InMy30s A Mom’s Birthday Reflection

Seven years ago, I named this blog Blissful Thoughts out of my wedding bliss. While most of my posts (especially the recent ones) were essentially blissful, there were still some which weren’t. That’s life if you’d ask me, in its authentic picture, with all its pain and glory. Not everything and not every day is blissful.

BLISS. According to the English Oxford dictionary, the word BLISS means PERFECT HAPPINESS or GREAT JOY. I don’t think I have a perfect happiness right now (I am saving that for when I finally meet my Creator.) but I do experience great joy in small and big ways every day of my life.

BLISS, for me, is being at peace, having a relationship with God, experience of nature, kindness towards others, compassion, generosity and seeing myself and my loved ones, especially the kids, happy and healthy. Realization of my dreams is a welcome bonus.

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I just had a #BirthdayBliss. Another one #InMy30s. My heart right this moment is filled only with joy and gratitude. Here are my worth-sharing birthday realizations:

Make time for self-care REGULARLY. And, I say regularly. At this age of mental health awareness which I believe comes with how fast the world revolves, it is a must that we regularly check our mental health as much as we do with our physical bodies. I think that it is so easy to fall into depression and sicknesses nowadays because of everyday stress, pollution, FOMO and unhealthy lifestyle and habits. So, don’t wait for your birthday to do something for your inner joy. Live by the day, not only on your birthday. I realized how wrong it was for me to anchor my one year of happiness on my birthday. Kaya kapag palpak ang birthday plan, sobrang nakaka-depress because I’ve waited for that day for months only to fail. From now on, I will lessen the pressure I put on my birthday by scheduling the things I like to do all throughout the year. No need to wait for my birthday!

Don’t settle for anything less than what you love or what you think you deserve or need. Do what you love to do. It’s your birthday! Reserve your birthday FOR YOURSELF. Kahit ano pa ‘yan! (basta legal, hehehe). Do what you must do for your health, both for the body and mind. We already know what should be done with our bodies. Eat right, move around, drink plenty of fluids and get enough rest. When it comes to our minds, to each his own. Whatever feeds your soul, do it, unwaveringly and unapologetically. Some like to travel. Others like to go into a nook and read a good book. Some prefer to spend time with their advocacies or passion outlets like volunteering or painting. As for me, I’m more than happy for the slightest touch of mother nature.

Don’t compromise your birthday. Imagine playing in your mind over and over again your “perfect” or ideal birthday plan for the past three-six-five only to be washed away by last-minute changes, which, by the way, aren’t emergency situations. It happened to me! I didn’t push with my birthday plan just to run some errands and transactions with our memorial plan. The feeling up until today wasn’t so nice. The lesson is as much as possible, stick to your plan, stick with what you really love to do for your birthday.

A happy and healthy you is beneficial for your family. Let go of your guilt. If you really want to spend your birthday alone, you need not be guilty for leaving your family or your kids behind. There are plenty of times for celebrations with your friends and family. Always remember that any act which is directed to preserve and care for your own being is also an act of love to those people around you. You need to nurture yourself to be able to nurture your family. The happier you are, the more happiness will resonate from you.

Your biggest responsibility is yourself. Don’t forget that. As a working mom of three young children, I know exactly what it feels like to carry huge responsibilities over my shoulder. Sa office man or sa bahay. But, just like what I said above, it would be terribly difficult and lonesome, if not impossible, to take care of others without taking care of your own being, especially the inner being. Kung physically, minsan kinakaya pa, unless talagang mag-break-down ang body natin pero yung inner us, if it’s damaged, we would not be able to serve in the way we are supposed to serve. Money is another issue. But, I’m sure there are ways you can indulge your inner self without having to sacrifice your responsibilities. You’ll find a way! God will provide!

It took me three unsatisfactorily birthdays (actually, only two because I was able to repair the last one) to finally realize that I was doing it all wrong. I shouldn’t wait for my birthday to show myself some tender love and care. I’m grateful for everyone who loves me, both friends and family but, I also need some self-lovin’ and, I think you need it too.

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