In a few days, I will be a year older. And, in a few more days, a new year will come. Time is reallllly fleeting! O.M.G! I have three young children who I stared at over the last long weekend and boy how I got sentimental. Too senti I caught myself teary-eyed. I could not imagine a household without their tiny footsteps, food crumbs everywhere, cluttered toys, loud bangs, crazy laughs, quirky remarks, and sudden cries. I felt a subtle pain in my chest as I imagine our home without them. But, I know it will happen as sure as the sun goes down every afternoon.
Cliché it may sound but I embraced and will continue to do so for as long as I can, the days (and nights) they are under my wings (physically). I will hold them more, hug them tighter, kiss them longer and play with them more often. I know I will still have my meltdowns. Motherhood isn’t a walk in the park, after all. But, I know better now. I know the things that linger with their young minds:
The one-on-one moments. My six and four-year-old remember well the solo dates I had with them. I, therefore, conclude that those precious times made a huge impact on them that’s why they always remember them, and they refuse to let it slide their memories.
The disagreement between me and their father. We don’t really quarrel or even argue in front of the kids. However, there was this one time when I was having postpartum issues after my C-section delivery. I was constipated for more than a week (sorry for TMI) and I was told by the doctor to follow a soft diet. I was sooo hungry from breastfeeding and my hubby had no idea what to feed me. They saw me cry out of hunger, fatigue, and frustration and it sort of stuck with them, telling me I don’t want to eat.
Explorations and adventures. They hardly remember the toy collections they see in stores unless it’s their favorite. But, they do remember our nature trips. They remember the beaches where we tried to make sand castles. They remember the roller coasters we’ve ridden. They remember the boat rides, the grasses where they laid and the bridges we’ve crossed. I know it’s more effort than just going to the mall but the joy that experiences (especially with nature) bring them is simply incomparable.
Key moments. I believe that there are key moments in a day when they listen to you attentively and when they can hear you from their hearts. It is when you have their full attention just so because there are no or very little distractions around. In my kids’ case, early morning, before bedtime, and bath-time conversations are our key moments together. Not only do they listen or converse with me meaningfully during these key moments, but they also tend to absorb what I’m saying.
Ah, Birthdays! You always poke the softest spot in my heart. Suffice to say, it is with great joy and gratitude that I experience “perfect happiness” imperfectly on a daily basis.