Time flies like a busy fly! 😊 I cannot believe my last post was eleven days ago. This is an absolute setback for my blog’s traffic. Anyway, there is nothing much I can really do. I was soooo absorbed by the new (or not-so-new?) standards we need to comply with in the office. I attended a week-long seminar/training for that. It was an exhausting week considering how early our day starts. Thankfully, my “classmates” were hilarious – in a good way, of course. It wasn’t as boring as I thought it would be.
However, I’ve been feeling a bit down lately. And, just like the old times, I take refuge in this humble e-home I’ve built for myself. A little backgrounder: I’ve been in the company of two law students for a week. I’ve been with professors too. It’s my dream to teach someday, ya’ know! My bosses were lady-bosses. I could not help but be envious and wonder why I’ve done nothing as significant in my life. I’m in my 30s, got fat with three children and with a fantastic stagnant career.
I know! I know. I am yet again being too hard on myself. We’re all guilty of that sometimes, right? I should be counting my small victories and I should acknowledge the fact that I’m living a good life with my awesome family, who, by the way, is priceless!
But, some negative realities are just so hard to shoo away. Once upon a time, I wanted to attend law school, fresh from college. I’ve been meaning to enroll in MBA, too. I wanted to teach. I wanted to advance my career. But, they just didn’t happen. Where did time go? Really. I only tried to migrate abroad, traveled locally, married the love of my life and gave birth to three adorable human beings. That’s what happened to me the past years. That’s what I’ve accomplished. They seem much but I can’t help but expect for something more from myself. I have this feeling that there is so much more I can do and offer to the world. That sounds so depressing, right? But, I am not depressed, believe me. Why should I be? I’m living my purpose. I have long resolved that issue that it is in fact, no longer an issue today. I just want to put myself to good use, more good uses.
So, I want to do something special for myself. That’s what’s bugging me. The younger me would usually come up with a list and publish it here. But, I’ve resolved not to share here any more things I’m up to do because it has become a curse, the ending being me not getting to my goal. I instead decided to share things that I’ve already accomplished. For example, my passing of the licensure examination for Real Estate Brokers. Since I cannot share any of my plans (not that I have made a roadmap or anything like it), let me just enumerate why I or we, mommies, whose careers and personal lives have taken the back burner, should not be feeling down because in a much broader sense, we are A-okay and we should acknowledge that, being kinder to ourselves in the process.
- Our bills are paid on time. Our generally healthy kids get an education. We may not be that wealthy, but we live decently with some comforts and occasional luxuries. We, fortunately, have the means to try to live the kind of life we want. Well, my job allows me that and it allows me to see the possibilities and create opportunities for myself too.
- We’ve graduated not only from school but more importantly from a lot of bad habits and negativities. I, for example, no longer get into a drinking competition just to prove a point. Honestly, I don’t really miss drinking alcohol. We’re no longer insecure. We’ve stopped being everybody’s cup of tea. We’ve embraced our authenticity. We are done from being too materialistic. We don’t mind brands per se anymore. We go for quality and for value for money.
- Our debts are managed. We have savings and we know how and where to invest. We’re money smarts as we call it.
- We have dreams. We make goals. And, we look forward to the future. My future includes all the courses and subjects I’d like to study someday. When the time is right, I’ll ace those courses!
- We can accept the things we cannot change but we fear not change the things that are within our control and power.
- We still know how to be fun. Despite my envious thoughts towards others who seem to be slaying things I would have slain myself, at the end of the day, I have contentment and peace in my heart, knowing fully that I’m living my God-given purpose.
- We have a purpose and we know we’re here for the fulfillment of a mission and for a couple of more causes too. Yes, we work and fight if needed for the causes we believe in.
- We are at peace. We are loved, and we’re not afraid to express our love too, in ways more than one. Finally, we have a home. We are home. And, I’m not even talking about a structure, we are home with our family.
What an irony?! Time may not ben on my side, as I see it today. But, I’m actually living the time of my life. I’ll probably look back on these days a decade from now and with the widest smile and brightest eyes tell myself this – “The best days of my life indeed.”.
How about you? Are you feeling down lately? Must be the weather, right? You know what, write down some uplifting notes to yourself. You’ll be surprised at how well you’re doing today than yesterday.