When you ask me a decade ago of the things I dislike about people, it would be about how mayabang they are or how self-entitled they are. Also, I don’t like people who look down on others, especially on their subordinates. I also dislike people who easily believe gossips, as quickly as they spread them. Now that I am #inmy30s, things have changed a bit. I still don’t like people who disrespect other people, whether of authority or someone who submits to them as their subordinate. I always believe that there is a level of decency that should be accorded to the people who we deal with. However, surprisingly, I can now tolerate other people’s kayabangan, basta talagang may ipagyayabang. But, there are five things that I find so difficult to tolerate now that I’m more clothed with age and experience. Do you want to know what they are?
1. Close-minded people. They are the people who refuse to listen. They cannot accept that others may deviate from what they say. They don’t accept the reason for no reason at all. They firmly believe that their way is the one and only right way. Most of all, they cannot agree to disagree with others. I honestly believe that if everyone just opens their minds to what others have to say, we can achieve a more peaceful living.
Sometimes, I’m guilty of this with my kids. It’s not that I don’t want to listen to them. Sometimes, I just get too tired to explain the reason for my decision or behavior. But, it’s bad, so I hope to change my ways and be more patient listening to what my kids have to say then explaining my side. Sometimes, ego makes me want to shut my kids down. I’m the parent, ako dapat masunod. Do you think that’s wrong? Or I think I should follow it up with – because I love you and I will always want what is best for you.
2. People who don’t own up to their mistakes. I realize that it is such a major turn-off when an adult could not admit his or her own mistake. To admit one’s fault is for me a great sign of humility, maturity, strength, and willingness to learn from a life experience. Besides, admitting to our mistakes frees our hearts and minds with unnecessary baggage. On the other hand, people who turn blind to their own mistakes simply feed their ego and continue to live in a pretense that they are right. Bottomline is they deprive themselves of opportunities to learn and grow.
Buti na lang I am not guilty with this sa mga kids ko. I am comfortable saying sorry to them every time I make a mistake, maliit man or malaki.
3. Power trippers and double standards. These are present in most workplaces and I think that at one point in your career, you experienced these already. What would you feel if one rule is applied to one person and not to you? I am bad when it comes to office politics. Well, what can I really do? Is there a seminar or training that will help improve my skills in office politics? Siguro meron, noh? I should register immediately. Oh, why, I think I should not look far because my husband is good at threading a thin line. The thing is I am too idealistic! Once a conviction is out, I’m all out in standing for it, no matter how TRIVIAL. I think that’s the operative word – TRIVIAL. I must let go of trivial stuff.
I don’t power trip with my kids and I apply same rules to all of them pero syempre because of their age, I have to tweak rules sometimes to be age appropriate.
4. Being (too) inconsiderate. I think that kasi, as adults, we’re way past that stage wherein we can tolerate people who let us wait for hours just to be interviewed or for a meeting. We’re way past that stage of proving ourselves from scratch. We’re already in a phase where we’ve already gained skills and knowledge which we can actually bring to the table. Iba na ang pinapatunayan natin. We can be as enthusiastic as when we were still starting but still we have more value now than before because of EXPERIENCE. So, respect lang and konting consideration. Not considering our years of hard work and continuous learning also means not extracting the best of us. In the end, the organization loses.
5. Gossips and gossipers. I never liked gossips and gossipers and yet I have tolerated them from time immemorial. But, I’m proud to say na in those years, I can honestly say that I only contributed or spread a gossip for less than ten times and I was so bothered by those instances. Now, it’s still difficult to get away from gossips and gossipers. So, my ears medyo matagal pa magtiyatiyaga but I am definitely controlling my mouth. In my mind, it will always be, “no single opinion, please”. If half the time spent in gossip is spent on actual work or simply lifting people’s spirits, work-life would absolutely be a better one.
Adult life, it is taking its toll on me, mommies! And, I could not be happier. Last week, I saw some college students and I was like, “Oh, these kids are too noisy!”. Were my college peer and I that noisy too over a decade ago? Haha. Surely, time changes me, my preferences, my beliefs, and my priorities. Makes me wonder what I’d be like #at40. For now, I’m living and loving the transformations. Do I have any readers who are thirty-something?