Happy New Year!!! How was your holiday? I hope it’s as great as ours. I’ve been wanting to blog but the TRAIN Law literally and figuratively lost me. Haha. My colleagues and I are still waiting for the IRR of this newly passed law but since wages and salaries could not wait for the release of the IRR, kanya-kanya muna kaming interpretation and implementation, the best we could and as logical as possible.
No matter how busy January is, my husband and I make sure to celebrate our wedding anniversary. It’s been seven years, folks! Seven wonderful years! Seven years ago, I believed in forever; and the forever we believe in begun. For the past seven years, we’ve been living in that forever. And, I can only look forward to many more seven years on our horizon.
As much as I want to romanticize our marriage or love story, I realize I already have many teenager nieces and nephews who are probably experiencing their first crushes and their first puppy loves. They have crazy and wild hormones right now and feeding them with more romantic notions won’t help (should they happen to read this). So, I’m being more mindful of this anniversary post. To all the teens and young lovers out there, take it nice and slow. Easy lang! Enjoy your youth. Don’t be in a hurry to get involved with someone very seriously.
I read somewhere that if you want to be happy and successful (and married/committed) in life, you must wisely choose to whom you’d spend your life with. And, I agree! If that’s the case, then it’s just proper that we be careful about deciding who to partner with, right? Here are seven traits you may want to consider in choosing your life partner:
A person of faith, he/she must be. I vividly remember during our pre-canna seminar, the woman asked me what I like most about my husband. Without batting an eyelash, I said that it is his faith that I admire so much. It is deep, huge, sincere and deemed unsinkable for it is founded and challenged, not inborn nor forced. Because of his faith, I am sure he would be able to guide me closer to the One who created us. His faith leads to solutions of every problem we face. It stops my worries, gives me an exclusive pole of positive energy and serves as our pillar of strength. Faith allows us to see the bigger and brighter picture, always. Enough said you must partner with someone who has an unmeasurable kind of faith.
A zero-vice person. Think of his/her vices, long and hard. Vices seem to be cool when you are young, carefree and no responsibilities. But, time will come when vices would start to irritate you and worse, cause fights. My close friends used to ask me what makes my husband, then boyfriend, different from other guys. They insist on knowing what does he has that I do not find in others. Not that they don’t like him, okay? But, that one question I truly find hard to answer because I just can’t say it’s his kindness. Some guys I met were kind too. I can’t say he’s sweet or holds a stable career. Some guys who courted me were also like that. I rallied my brain cells and came up with the best answer. “You should ask me instead what he has not that others have.” Guess what, its vices. He drinks alcohol but does not enjoy it like others. He does not smoke. He does not gamble. He is not a womanizer either. In fact, he does not have too many girl crushes. He has friends and groups but is never the type who succumbs to peer pressures. They exist, guys who don’t have vices (at least the killer ones). Go find them.
A sense of humor that clicks with you. Can he/she make you smile and laugh? That is vital in an exhausting, even possibly draining world we live in today. Kilig wears off. Sparks die. In a long-term relationship, it is inevitable that fervent desire and deep love would hide or be gone at one point. Laughter, on the other hand, is a general language. You can’t love a friend or a stranger the way you love your lover but you can laugh with anyone and everyone the same way. To be able to laugh and have fun with your partner reconnects your soul with each other. It’s a good starting point to rekindle the love. Besides, laughing kills anger and boredom, two things to be most likely present in long-term relationships.
A responsible person. It is but normal to be physically attracted to a person first because that is what we see on the surface. But, what is essential is invisible to the naked eye (Little Prince, anyone?). Thankfully, there are ways to spot a responsible person. Does he/she do his homework and submit his/her projects on time? Or, he/she is always cramming? More than his/her pretty eyes and perfectly combed hair, try to pay attention to other, almost always neglected details. Check his/her nails! Check his/her clothes and his/her shoes. Observe the way he/she takes care of his/her things. Observe how he/she spends his/her idle time, honors his/her commitments and values his/her family rules. There’s no way you would be happy if you end up with an irresponsible person. Mark my word.
A reasonable and respectful person. I really took time observing how my husband deals with different type of people. And, he passed with flying colors. He dearly loves his family especially his mom but he’s more upfront with his brothers. He’s elusive to acquaintances and strangers. That’s how I know infidelity is an impossibility. Hehe. But, he can strike a conversation anytime too, if and when needed. He has nothing but respect for everyone. Gives honor and credit where it is due and maintains a level-head. If you find yourself physically attracted to someone who bullies those who are inferior to him, bosses you around, shouts at his mother and respects only those who are in prominent position and disregards those who are under him/her. Forget it! In the long run, you won’t be happy around him or risk developing a masochistic personality.
Money-wise. Money-savvy. What does he think of money? Is he/she willing to work hard for money? Or he’s the easy-money type? When he/she has money, how does he/she spend it? Wisely or one-day-millionaire? Does he/she value money but can give it away to bless others? Unless you are a multi-billionaire who can afford to lose millions and won’t mind earning any income for the next decade or so, you must be smart in life and avoid ending up with a person who does not have any idea or enthusiasm on how he/she can afford his/her dreams. It’ll be a pain in the head living hand-to-mouth. Remember, love alone won’t pay your bills, won’t feed you and your children and won’t send your children to schools. Money won’t buy you happiness, I know, but it sure helps, trust me! You should partner with someone who would complement your style and skills with money. Money i=may not be the most important thing in the world BUT it can help keep you happy and alive!
A person to whom you are compatible with. Annulments and divorces are usually anchored with irreconcilable differences. While conflicts and disagreements add excitement in a relationship, at the end of the day, especially once you get more matured and, well, older, you begin to long for PEACE. And, there is no peace if every day you disagree even about the most trivial stuff. So, yes, for me, compatibility is something you should give importance to. Compatibility does not mean you and your partner need to be the same, although that would make things simpler. If your husband is a good listener and you like talking, then I guess you’re compatible. You see, as long as you two can exist harmoniously under one roof, then peaceful living can be achieved. Trust you me, when you hit my age, you will start yearning for peace.
If you’re married, in a serious or long relationship and reading this post, I hope you’re sharing your life with a person who has these seven traits. On the other hand, if you’re still single, entertaining suitors, getting to know better a certain person or friend, then I hope this post may help you be guided, one way or another. Choosing who or deciding how you’re going to spend the rest of your one-way ticket life is no joke. You pray about it and you seek guidance from your trusted ones. And, you can include Blissful Thoughts among your trusted ones. Why? Well, after seven years, I am still happy and successful in my own rights simply because I chose the right person to be my partner in life.
If you want to be happy and married/in a relationship, choose the right person. Follow your heart, but, take your brain with you!
To you, honey, Happy Anniversary!