Since I became a mother of three young children I begin getting anxious over our family’s finances. Not that we’ve zero out our savings when I delivered our baby V but I think it’s just normal for a parent to worry about his/her children’s future. I think it’s every parents greatest fear – to not be able to provide for his/her kids and to not be able to secure their future.
Lately, I’ve been thinking and computing how much more we should save for kids’ education and where to invest soundly. Of course, we want to send them to good schools so that they’d have a better shot at life. I worry too about our retirement plans. We want to be able to live a good life after retirement without depending on our kids so that they’d be free to discover and explore the world, chase their dreams, follow their hearts, do their passions and fulfill their purposes.
These financial fears I do not share with the mister. He’s the cool type or as he puts it, it is all about having faith that God will provide for us. Considering that he’s been through a lot in life, he was still able to develop that kind of faith. From living a rich life in Bulacan in a nice house with big yards, cars, nannies and a good family business to losing them all in a flash because of Mt. Pinatubo, becoming a breadwinner and foregoing an engineering dream. On the other hand, my experience of having too liitle while growing up planted a seed of fear in my heart. Sometimes I am able to cut the fear off once it grows back but since I cannot uproot it, the fear keeps coming back during certain situations such as this one – bringing someone (a beautiful and wonderful someone if I may say so) in the world for the third time. If I am only responsible for myself, it would be much easier to have just a little or even nothing but to be responsible for three beautiful souls, I cannot afford to be poor. I cannot afford to have just a little and so I claim the riches and prosperity God has promised.
Sure I can keep my work or better yet, look for a higher paying job and stretch my bones and muscles like never before to earn more and save more. Sure I can increase our investment portfolio. Sure I can buy insurances (though I am still doubtful of our insurance industry). I can go after our debtors. I can sell off my stuff and properties. I can do part-time jobs to death. The thing is I think I can have a million peso stored away but still be fearful because my fear is not because I lack money but because I lack enough faith in the Lord.
Upon accepting that my problem is not about money per se but about my unfaithfulness to God’s promises, I now seek the Bible and daily devotions for scriptures and reflections that would increase my faith and remind me that God is in-charge and He is always bigger than any of my problems, in the hopes too that I’d finally be uprooting my fear of losing or having no money.
This fear is valid mommies but it should increase our faith not our worries. After all, worries won’t bear us monies. Besides, there are things far greater than what is here on earth, and that I should be anxious about.