personal

♥ I Am Not Living My Dream Life and It’s Okay ♥

I came across the article Why I Am Not Living My Dream Life? by Rica Peralejo-Bonifacio and I cannot help but relate to it. Like her, my dream life is far from the state of my life right now but this life I’m living at the moment feels so impeccably right that I’ve concluded this is indeed my calling from God. This is my God-given purpose and there is no shadow of doubt about that.

My dream life is a life of a traveler and the one of an adventurer— true to my being a Sagittarian. I have always wanted to dive, down the deep seas and high above the sky. I have always wanted to climb mountains and squeeze myself into the tiny tunnels and caves of Sagada. I have always loved a road trip. I want a life in the countryside with greeneries everywhere, a lake nearby and thousands of stars at night. But, I’ve been living in Manila (yes, the heart of Metro Manila, Philippines) my whole life. And, with the way my life unfolded, my dream life has become but a dream, far from reality.

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Name one thing you gave up for family life and motherhood: TRAVEL | As a matter of fact, I just canceled a trip to Hongkong because I am on my 8th month and I can barely move! | Free Stock Photo from Unsplash by Richard Tilney-Bass

I had a career. I manage finances day in and day out. I married the love of my life and ultimately had kids (and still having). I am pregnant with baby no. 3 as of this writing. And while everyone knows, including me that this family life, homemaking, and motherhood things are entirely my choice — choice that would push my dream life even further to the horizon, I do not feel even an inch of regret. On the contrary, this life, my marriage, and pregnancies feel so right, in every sense of it. That’s when I realized that people may not understand me or may even pity me for not doing anything to live the kind of life I’ve always dreamed of, instead I do things that would make it even more difficult for me to achieve those things. But, deep inside my heart, I just know that I’m on the right track of life, that I am where I am supposed to be, that this is the life God called and made me for.

I have nothing against women who choose not to have children. Maybe, it’s their calling too. But for me, I am clearly designed to be a bearer and raiser of God’s children. What I’m just trying to say is that ganun pala yun, you will be at peace with whatever situation once you know it is God’s will and you’ll know it’s His will when your whole being (mind, heart, and soul tell you so). Surely, motherhood (times 3 in my case) is one or three huge responsibility/ies which I believe God trust I could do.

Whenever I see or learn of my friends’ or other people’s adventures and jet-setting lifestyle, my lips just involuntarily curve upside. At least, someone on this planet is living my dream life by staying true to his or her own calling. My dream life may not coincide with my purpose but I have no confusion about what is more important to me — and that is to fulfill my God-given mission. There is nothing else that matters in life except that.

P.S. I have started including in my daily prayer that God may be the one who put dreams in my heart and my children’s hearts too. That way, we can all live our dreams and serve our purposes both at the same time.

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