I seldom write about marriage, well, my marriage. Not because I am keeping it very private or because our marriage is on the rocks. It’s just that being married for only 5 years (this month we’re celebrating our anniversary!), I feel like I’m not yet eligible to be talking about a blissful married life baka hindi ako maging kapani-paniwala or worse pagtawanan pa ko. Why do I think that way? Because nowadays, years in marriage no longer count. It’s not a guarantee to forever. Every so often, we’ll hear stories about couples who have been married for 10, 20 years separate all of a sudden. So kami pa kaya na 5 years pa lang?!
But, I’d like to change my mindset about my marriage. I should take pride in every milestone it takes, may it be a year, a week or a day! Also, I owe it to myself and my blog (and to you my blog-friends!) to write my thoughts about marriage whenever my instinct tells me to do so, without any hesitation and worries about others’ reactions as long as I’m harming no one.
As we celebrate our 5th wedding anniversary, I realized that marriage pala talaga is not about how many years you’ve been together. It’s so easy to count the years, yet each year feels like a big accomplishment. Do I sound like someone having a hard time staying married for a year? Well, that’s not what I meant. Every year feels like a huge milestone because a year in marriage, in our case, at least, is so filled with different stories, emotions, trials and triumphs. You know the feeling when every day seems to be just the same yet when you look back, a year ago was so different from today? That’s exactly how I see my marriage.
Marriage to me now is not about the past. Oh, yeah, from time to time, it’s fun to reminisce how we first met and fell in love with each other. Those memories being a foundation of our relationship help keep us intact but those memories do not define our marriage today and they do not foretell what the future holds for us too. Marriage for me now is always about living and enjoying the present moment. Marriage is about dreaming for the future together. It will always be about love, faith, forgiveness, respect, friendship and that one sacred vow.
Five years ago, I married the guy who I believe is God’s perfect match for me. And, I still believe that. We decided it was time to settle down and build our own family. We felt we’re ready and we felt God called us into it. We chose to take a vow in front of God not only because we have conservative families but primarily because we felt it was God’s will for us – to get married and start a family.
After 5 years, I can finally say today with all conviction that marriage is important. It’s not just a tradition, a ritual or a piece of paper. While literally, marriage is only written or evidenced by a piece of paper, that paper has, as it turns out, value more than what the naked eye could see. You just need to see through that marriage contract. When your marriage is put to a test, that’s when you’ll appreciate getting married in front of God. In times when you feel like giving up, in times when love is overshadowed by doubts and hatred and in times when you could no longer find strength to keep your promises with each other, remember that God will never give up on the two of you, that God’s the father of all love so He never fails in it and God keeps his promises. You just turn to that piece of paper and be encouraged to honor the commitment you made not only in front of God but with Him.
The 5 years we celebrate is not about us. It is not our own accomplishment. It was the hand of God. It’s our work with Him. And, it will always be that way.
Today, I pray for all married couples to find God in their marriage. I encourage everyone who will soon to be married to make a wedding vow with God. Remember, God is not there only to witness your wedding. He is there blessing you and promising you that He will be one with your union forever. So, promise Him too that you will forever protect and nurture your union in His mighty honor and for His glory.