personal

Farewell Post: Dr. Charlemagne D. Aguinaldo (My Thoughts on Death)

In Memoriam: Dr. Charlemagne Aguinaldo (1979-2015)

 

“See You Again”
Today is the 40 days of my brother-in-law, Dr. Charlemagne Aguinaldo’s death. It is believed that on the 40th day of a person’s death, he/she will leave the earth and follow the light. So, we bid Doc Charlie or Iboy as the family fondly calls him, goodbye (for now.)

As we live with our daily routines, plans and scheduled activities, it becomes easier to forget about Death, as if it’s a strange word — unheard of and unencountered. But when Death happens to our circle of loved ones, our reality gets shattered. There is Death, and it is sad and painful.

When someone dies, especially if it comes as a shock, like the death of a 36-year old seemingly healthy doctor. It seems as if Death is reminding everyone of its existence. Death is like announcing that he is well and alive, with trumpets and drums! He’s laughing while telling us that he is real and that he actually happens to everybody and anybody. He hates us for ignoring him and for pretending he is not anywhere near, so he makes sure we know him and his existence. No matter how bad, ugly and sad Death can be, it’s an important reminder for us to live our lives to the fullest, to not neglect the most important things in life and to do what we need and mean to do without any delay, for the life of a man is not forever and that Death can come at the most unpredictable times and ways.

We take solace in the fact that our deceased loved one is finally resting in the loving arms of God, the lone Creator and Savior — that wherever he/she is right now, there is neither suffering nor loneliness and lonesomeness. We take comfort in the idea that God must have loved him/her so much and that God must’ve been very impressed by his/her life that he/she finally earned the privilege to meet Him.

Other than those mentioned above, it’s the faith that whatever God’s purpose is, even if we’re incapable of understanding it at the moment, it will always be for the best interest of all of His children. It has long been planned, written, our time on earth, our fate with Death. It’s trusting that His will is what would ultimately happen and it’s the best. We’d inevitably feel sad, empty and grieving, though.

I honestly think that people mourn not entirely because of someone’s death. We mourn because of our own sadness and our own sense of loss. Sometimes we grieve out of regrets, guilt and a couple of what ifs and should have beens. It’s just the way it is, I guess, how Death affects people. We miss the person. The thought of them not being around anymore and their absence in our lives, that’s what we grieve about. The fact that we can no longer talk to them, laugh with them, cry with them, eat with them and celebrate with them, that’s where the melancholia and emptiness come from.

Time to let go will come. It has to come, for everyone’s sake. The living has to go on living and the dead has to move on to the next life and follow where the light leads them. By accepting that you now live in different worlds, you allow his/her spirit to begin a new journey and yourself another day/s of your old yet different life. Yes, after we lose someone dear to our hearts, life will never be the same again. We have to live with that. At the end of it all, we should be glad and thankful that we were given the rare and precious opportunity to share the stage with him/her.

Last complete family vacation in September 2013 at Boracay

So long, Iboy. We will definitely and sorely miss you in every family celebration and in every sickness we would have. But, off you go to where the light of the Lord shall lead you. You deserve to be in His fleet. We’re sad, we grieve, we mourn but we are also happy that you were chosen to meet Him at your 36th. We thank you for everything. Please be our angel-doctor and whisper a prayer for us whom you have left lonely, broken and on the road to healing.

An attempt to immortalize one of his prescriptions to my son.
 

 

I’ll always remember him singing Josh Groban’s in videoke
———-

Can you guys bring yourself to thinking about death, whether yours or your loved ones? If you ask me, I used to think about my own death. I was preparing myself, even drafting a last will and testament (as if I have millions worth of estate, I wish!). But when I became a mom, I can no longer think about it. As for my loved ones I have never been able to think about their deaths. I’ll cry in a heartbeat. However, I still believe that if you have faith, if you believe in a Higher Being and if you believe in eternal life, Death could still be the purest form of bliss, the kind of which nowhere to be found or experienced while we’re alive.

Me and my mom’s favorite (and soon my husband’s too, he needs to hear it first, though)

If tomorrow never comes

Will she know how much I loved her 

Did I try in every way to show her every day 

That she’s my only one 

And if my time on earth were through

And she must face this world without me
Is the love I gave her in the past 
Gonna be enough to last 
If tomorrow never comes
 ‘Cause I’ve lost loved ones in my life
Who never knew how much I loved them
Now I live with the regret
That my true feelings for them never were revealed
So I made a promise to myself 
To say each day how much she means to me 
And avoid that circumstance 
Where there’s no second chance to tell her how I feel

 

LoveLots,
Ck

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