The last time the mister and I had a quality time together was sometime in January, in celebration of our wedding anniversary. For 2 months I have been bugging him to set a day off when we could just relax and catch up on each other. The unfortunate part is that, both of us have been so busy with our work-life and top it of with our nanny resigning.
Parenting + career + house-chores is usually a recipe for intimacy death.
One day, I just snapped out and decided to make it happen (our much needed couple time), impromptu. I was pretty much convincing that he almost agreed right away, after all, he also needs some rest.
At first, he rejected my idea citing one reason after the other which I totally understand as I have quite exactly the same reasons as his but my inner being tells me that they are not as important as our need for an emotional balance. So folks, sharing here the arguments which made me won a day-off with my husband:
My opening salvo with him were – Are your tasks a matter of life and death? Will it truly spell trouble if you don’t do them today? In cost-benefit analysis, are we on a disadvantage here? He thought I was being sarcastic. Hence, I continued – Worse comes to worst, (knock-on-wood) something bad happens, you’ll drop everything else for the one you love, right? Might as well cherish some time together because no one knows what life will bring. I think I got him there. As they say, if not now, then when? There is no better day to do the things you were meaning to do than today! Do not wait before it’s too late – the general rule of life.
It’s the two of you then and will always be just the two of you. Give priorities to people who really matter. Your works are rarely remembered by the people around you. Your achievements today will be forgotten tomorrow as new achievements will surface. What they will remember is your relationship with them, how you treated them and how you made them feel.
Accept that there is such a thing called emotional needs which are designed to be met if you want a life in balance, peace, joy and order. Never put on hold your health whether physical, mental or emotional.
Lastly and probably the core essence of this entry, it’s a matter of HONORING your priorities. We have no problems recognizing and setting our priorities. It’s an easy task, right? However, everyone finds it difficult to honor them. Honoring priorities means showing through your actions what are most important to you. We should let our priorities guide us in our decision-making. They define how we live each and every single day of our lives. Never put at the backseat your priorities. By all means, you have to HONOR your priorities or not set them at all.
P.S. The mister is a hard-worker, good father and a thoughtful husband. But I take it as my role as a woman/wife to remind him of what truly matters in life and check his emotional health from time to time which he often neglects due to demanding responsibilities both at work and at home. All I can say is that, family life is indeed a challenge but with God’s grace, love, understanding and the decision and desire to make things work, I’m positive we’ll surpass the tides and even the rough roads.
P.P.S. Please determine if a couple time is needed or wanted. If it is wanted, for me, it can therefore wait until schedules permit. If it’s needed, then just make it happen ASAP, no, make it now!