Howdy! It’s been a little too long, eh? For a moment, I thought of giving up this blogging but then, I’m suddenly back to my senses and realized it was such a foolish idea (at this time atleast). So here I am, writing my sentiments. There is this old blogsite I read over the weekend which really inspired me. It was already old (xanga account) and have been inactive for 4 years! so no need I guess to share the site but most of the entries are really good that I could compare it to like, ahmm, reading another self-help, empowerment book. What’s more amazing is that 90% of her views are like mine, only she can express herself clearer and bolder. How freaking cool is that!?
So what’s my story? And oh just before I forget, I’ll resume and make bawi for my countdown next week, promise! *wink* There’s just something that’s been bothering me to death these past days. Yep, it’s that serious and it happened while I’m in the height of my peace, believing that everything will be fine when I’m finally back. For a moment too, I felt like I just wanted to stay here and never go back to the chismax world, chaos, pollution, corruption, yucky political gimmickry, low-paying jobs etc etc etc. Something bad really came up, eh?
What do I realize? Personally, I think I’m not praying enough (so shame on me), that is why God is calling my attention once more. Another thing is, it’s very rare to meet people with credibility, integrity, knowledge and power, and at the same time stay humble and sensible. Gets? How i wish I could meet or at least know someone like that, someone to look up to, just once in my career! I also realized that the problem is not because people do not understand this and that, the problem is that people refuse to even try to understand.
Lastly, I heard or must’ve read somewhere that the only way to conquer your fear is to face it. So, what’s mine? I’m afraid to be jobless. I’m afraid to loose money. Now, am I materialistic or realistic? You tell me. We’re the type of family who just always meet the ends until my sisters graduated and helped the family out. I’m lucky I’m the youngest, so no much pressure but what we’ve gone thru stuck to my mind somehow, hence the birth of my fears. I’ve been jobless for 3 months (2.5 actually) because my previous job is a killer! =p You know what, I’ve been fine not only because I prepared for going jobless but also because of my avid supporters. hahaha (family & friends). But it didn’t take away my fears. So should I go through the same process once again and make sure this time it will work? Meaning, should I go back home & quit my job and just apply somewhere I love to, or should I stick to it, swallow my pride & beliefs because it’s more economical? Yeah, people always have options. The hardest part is picking which one. Considering money, by all means I’d rather stay, but considering my inner self, the decision would’ve been otherwise.
As of the end of this writing, I still do not have a concrete answer. =p May the Above, bless me with strength, courage and wisdom to overcome this trial phase.
Oh money, Oh jobs, why are you so mean to me!? =p Can we be friends, please? hihihi… thanks in advance!