I’m tired not of living my life but of trying to find out what’s the meaning of it.
I’ve been flat on the ground, hit the bottom and even stayed there for some time. Faced the devils outside and confronted the demons inside. My heart has bled, my spirit has been broken and my mind has been blown up too many times BUT I’m still here. Most of the times, I’m clueless. I sure do put up a front of a composed, smart and strong young woman but inside I’m hell vulnerable and fragile and weak.
Now, after quite a long race, I admit, I’m getting tired of trying to figure out what my life is. I have thought of stopping but I could not. Even destiny, I think, is having a hard time deciding where to lead me. Sometimes, I could not help but envy others who seem to have found their niche and then I wonder if that time will ever come to me.
I’m officially adding a more personal note to this blog: The Quest for True Ck. I do not know how long it will take me to find the authentic, pure and unshaded meaning of my life for me to finally live out my mission, including all the rests I’ll take in between whenever I get tired. But one thing I vow to you and to Him, no matter how tired I am, how weak, how dirty and how down I can get, I will not give up nor give in until I find the true essence of my being.
I know that there are many out there who are on the same page as I am right now with their own respective lives. I hope we could all share our experiences ‘cos I’m sure there will be a great deal of learning that we can get from each other.