Did you know that I suffered from an inferiority complex when I was young? Yes, it’s true.
Quoting from Wikipedia:
“An inferiority complex, in the fields of psychology and psychoanalysis, is a feeling that one is inferior to others in some way. Such feelings can arise from an imagined or actual inferiority in the afflicted person. It is often subconscious and is thought to drive afflicted individuals to overcompensate, resulting either in spectacular achievement or extreme schizotypal behavior, or both. Unlike a normal feeling of inferiority, which can act as an incentive for achievement, an inferiority complex is an advanced state of discouragement, often resulting in a retreat from difficulties.”
In my case, it is an imaginary and inflicted one. It was inflicted upon me by some relatives who treated me inferiorly and I imagined to be inferior even when those relatives were no longer around. Imagine, I passed the board exams and yet they were obstreperous over my cousin’s project – yes, project! No one congratulated me or even bothered to ask how I feel. I was always sidelined. I felt so small. That’s why I became elusive. I was alone most of the time. Not racing hands even if I perfectly know the answers. I get real nervous when there’s an oral recitation going on. Volunteerism even if I really wanted to, seemed to be undoable. I don’t know. I just didn’t feel worthy. I felt like I’m always being talked about negatively. I felt like no one liked me. I felt ugly, untalented, unintelligent and always unappreciated and unnoticed. I was so insecure! That is despite my not-so-bad looks and above average IQ (naks!).
Fortunately, though, I outgrew it. As I mature and gain more – more faith, more experiences, more friends, and more money, the feeling of inferiority went away. Thanks to my family and friends. =p My mom had me joined the ‘Lyre & Drum’ org when I was in elementary so that I can become more sociable and I absolutely agree that it did help in my personality development and character building which is necessary for a child’s formative years. I used to have crooked teeth (2 front teeth) back then which added to my insecurities, coz oh boy how I hate dentists! And, not to mention how expensive dental services were! I even had a classmate who’d call me ‘bampira‘ (vampire!) Imagine that? How cruel! But now, we just laugh it off. My sisters were to the rescue at that time, one confronted my classmate and talked to his mother and one dragged me to the dentist every Saturday. In trying to boost my self-esteem, my mom even bought me Nintendo Family Computer from her saved-the-hard-way-money, para in sa trend ( okay I feel guilty now =[ ).
As I said, thanks to my friends, family and to Him, my inferiority complex slowly disappeared as I add more numbers to my age. Sometimes, it still haunts me but now is different. I can handle myself and my emotions a lot better, unlike before, and I can even fight back my insecurities. =)
Maybe next time, I’ll share how I personally battle my once-thought of as mere shyness but was actually an inferiority complex na pala. Not any more of the struggles, I’d like the conquering/vanishing part better! =p
PS: Come to think of it, my classmate was wrong, he should have called me something with a resemblance with a ‘rat’ or ‘rabbit’ since I have 2 (used to be crooked) large front teeth (just like Bro Bo!), instead of vampires who have pangils. LOL. =p